As I entered into my teens I decided to maintain my low profile. Not entirely out of fear, but simply because I did not wish to add to the clamor already being made around me. At that stage, there can be a lot of talking going on with very little actually being said. All of this early experience resulted in my comfort zone of withholding thoughts and ideas and filing them under "good-listening".
I remember years ago, a pastor accused me of sharing too little of myself. I had never been cited for that one before. Though it was a little odd at the start, I began to explore the ins and outs of sharing more of myself with others. As with all potentially good things, learning moderation takes practice, trial, and error. Tipping the scales back-and-forth to find a new self-disclosure comfort zone takes a little bit of wrist action.
So why bother at all, you ask? Well, for one reason only. I know now that a certain amount of self-disclosure is important for wholeness. By that I mean, my wholeness. I've found, for me, that little else has the enabling feature that self-revelation possesses. There's something intangible about putting myself at emotional risk that strengthens my spirit in the end.
I've gotten better at "healthy" self-disclosure since I've been able to see the benefits of it. Sharing who I am (the good and the not-so-good) smashes fear and empowers me to accomplish feats never considered attainable before. Sort of like finding unexpected "bonus" applications included in software packages. Ok, that's not a good metaphor. Maybe more like swallowing the bitter pill to attain a wonderful healing.... Hmm, yeah, that works.
