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| The S.S. Zuiderkruis (Southerncross), circa late 1950s |
I walk in a gimpy manner—like Chester, from Gunsmoke. My pronounced gait is the result of having contracted Polio onboard a ship during the process of relocation from our home in Indonesia to The Netherlands in 1957. The ship's name was the S.S. Zuiderkruis and it will be forever etched in my mind.
Above and beyond any other influence, Polio has been the overriding constant that has defined my past. And if I were honest I would say that it still roams the backstreets of my mind looking for an unguarded doorway into my soul. I like to think that Polio’s influence over who I am has diminished through the years. And truthfully, many of the emotional shackles of the disease have been loosed and placed safely out of the way. Still, I’m wearied at times by the hardwearing power of certain thought processes that continue to be leveled at me when my defenses are down and rainwater is coming into my tent. Decades of self-inspection and adjustments, years of failing and compensating, have all resulted in discovering some intricate and complex details of the human heart and mind.
Through it all I found that the best way to find a measure of peace about some of the unchangeable things in life is to find God's wisdom on the subject. If I cannot conquer a thing by myself then I better do my best to let God's insight and clarity bring the deliverance, restoration, and healing I desperately need. Pursuing God's wisdom, though, can take you down some dimly lit roads. And the pathway to peace may take you straight through the town of turmoil before journey's end. That's the way it seems to be set up in God's mind. Wisdom's gait is just as awkward as my own gait. They may, I suspect, be one and the same.
